ARE YOU TRULY READY FOR A BABY?
Written by Stella Matilda, Editor of Parents Avenue Magazine
I may not looked like the “established” mom who has it all under control. Keeping the house clean, preparing meals for the family and all. But I think with a three year old toddler and another baby on the way, I’m pretty qualified to share my five cents on parenthood. At least some of it.
The truth is, my husband didn’t want us to have our first child so soon after our wedding. Some believe in enjoying the marriage first. I totally agree. But I wanted kids. I always have a thing for children and I knew that we were ready. So let me just share with you the few topics we discussed prior to having our first child.
1. To care for someone other than ourselves.
This isn’t a pet cat or a dog. Bringing someone to life and to be responsible for that tiny person is a big deal. We figured, ok - we are pretty independent and have been taking care of ourselves for decades. I mean, we still have food and clean clothes!
2. Willing to make scarifies for someone other than yourself.
Right. Like ultimately money, time and sleep. That’s do-able. We had a long talk on the money bit thinking if we are actually financially ready for a little one. I thought, money will come and go but time- we can never, ever get to reverse time. Period!
I believe in goal setting and working towards it. We discussed exactly how much we needed to survive with the first baby. We had a plan and wrote it down to review the pros and cons. It always goes back to money. Thankfully, we managed to save enough for a private hospital delivery and surviving through to our third year as parents.
Remember, money is everything but so is time. Of course, if you have money, it will pretty much sums it all up - then you have money to hire a maid, go to the best hospital in town, best day care centres and schools, best of all things like toys and food too. But, here I am sharing as a middle income person who doesn’t really have all that luxury. But we are happy and blessed above all.
3. Capacity to love.
Not everyone has the will to love a child. Loving a child is about patience. This is that little person that keeps you awake all day and night. Vomit and poop what may feel like every hour. When they learn to crawl or walk, your house is no longer yours. It’s theirs.
Expect your feet to feel the pain from stepping onto toys and lego bricks (presents from your family/friends). Expect jumping and dangerous stunts from your child. Expect screams, cries and tantrums. Expect forgiveness and to love without limits by you as the parent. To always bare in mind, their childhood years are so, so, so very few. So treasure them while you can.
4. You are open to learning, changing and growing.
Motherhood is just like your mobile phone software, it needs to be upgraded once in a while. What we thought we knew could be so back dated, it doesn’t even make sense anymore!
Motherhood will change us as a person. Same goes for the daddy. You cannot stop the changes in your life. Once you enter parenthood, there is no going back. And guess what? Nobody is truly ready to be a parent. Nobody. But you have to be willing to say YES. YES. YES. Yes to the changes, yes to learning new things and yes to growing.
5. Be responsible.
You want to be someone’s mother. Your life will affect another life as deeply as it possibly can. Our choices, words, attitudes, experiences - all of it! Whatever you do will affect how your kids develop, forming the structure of their own central narratives.
How can we ever be ready for something like that? Good news is, you can clean up your act. You can be responsible. Like, today. Right now. Are you ready?
